When Systems Fail People

A soft case study on emotional labor, unread data, and what leadership often misses

Jul 22, 2025

Not long ago, I sat in a meeting and watched a woman bring her whole self to the table.
Not loudly. Not performatively. Just... fully present.
Her idea was well thought-out, clear, intentional, the kind of contribution that doesn’t come from Googling “best practices,” but from lived experience, pattern recognition, and late nights connecting dots no one else saw.
You could tell she cared. You could tell she believed in what she was offering.

And when she finished? Silence.

Because apparently pausing to acknowledge brilliance is too much work.

Not the reverent kind, the kind that honors a good idea.
This silence was sharp. Dismissive. The kind that makes you second-guess whether you should’ve said anything at all.

A quick “thanks” from leadership. No follow-up. No pause.
The conversation shifted like her words hadn’t even touched the room.

She didn’t protest. She stayed composed.
But I saw the shift.

She leaned back, quietly closed her notebook, and didn’t speak again for the rest of the call.

Spirit left the meeting. The body just stuck around for compliance.

Later, she messaged me:

“That just sucked the air out of me.”

And that’s how systems fail people, not in policy, but in presence.

📊 Let’s Be Real About Data

I love a clean dashboard.
Give me metrics, visuals, year-over-year breakdowns, I’m all in.
But here’s where it gets real:

Without reflection, context, and lived insight, the numbers don’t mean much.

I’ve sat in rooms where the engagement score looked “stable,”
but morale was on life support.

I’ve seen turnover reports that didn’t mention
how many women of color left because they were tired of being strong and unseen.

The dashboard told a story.
But it wasn’t the story.

That’s where soft systems come in.
They ask the deeper questions:

How are people actually experiencing this culture?
What’s not being said out loud?
What truth are we pretending isn’t showing up in behavior?

Good leaders don’t just measure performance; they read the emotional pulse beneath the performance.
That’s the system shift we need.

🌱 What a Soft System Could’ve Done Differently

What would’ve changed that moment?

A feedback practice that includes acknowledgment as a norm, not a bonus
A team culture where ideas aren’t just evaluated, they’re clutched.
A leader who paused, looked up, and simply said: “This is good. Let’s stay here for a minute.”

These aren’t radical ideas.
They’re intentional soft systems.
They’re the difference between retention and quiet quitting.
Between compliance and culture.
Between people staying... or emotionally checking out.

🔍 Leadership Reflection:

What’s happening in your space that no one is talking about, but everyone is feeling?
What systems have the structure, but not the safety?

🧪 Coming Soon: The Leadership Lab Series

This post is your soft invitation into the Leadership Lab.
In August, I’ll begin breaking down real-world leadership moments, culture shifts, and performance issues through an I/O Psychology lens, with heart, clarity, and tools that translate.

We’ll explore:

When “belonging” is branded but not built
Emotional labor and its quiet cost
What performance reviews don’t tell you
Soft rituals that actually support strong leadership

You won’t need a PhD to understand it.
Just the desire to lead better, without burning yourself or your people out.

💬 Closing:

The woman from that meeting eventually left.
Not with fireworks. Not with drama. Just with quiet resolve.
And her absence? It wasn’t in the data. But the culture felt it.

Here’s to leading in ways that notice the shift before people disappear.
Here’s to soft systems that don’t just manage, but cultivate.

You in?

—Kay LeShea

If you’ve ever been in a room like that, where your words didn’t touch down, or your energy was dismissed, comment “That one stopped me mid-scroll.” I’d love to know I’m not alone.

Balancing, Belonging, Becoming

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