Soft Systems Sunday: No Permission Slip Needed
The In-Between Isn’t Waiting, It’s Building
There’s something sacred about the in-between season, though in the moment, it rarely feels that way.
When mine began, I described it as “watching paint dry.” Days felt endless. I was restless, waiting for a defining moment; a job, a title, some external proof that I had arrived. Without it, I felt suspended, like life was moving forward for everyone else but me.
But what I see now is that I wasn’t waiting for work or recognition. I was waiting for permission.
Permission to show up fully. Permission to live and lead as I’ve always wanted. Permission to believe my life mattered even without the neat label of a career box.
The truth? No permission slip was coming—because none was ever needed.
Everything I had been searching for was already within me: the courage to live on my terms, the clarity to release stories not meant for me, and the softness to trust that God’s timing wasn’t punishment but preparation.
The Funeral of Expectations
This season required me to grieve. To bury the heavy expectations of others, the life they imagined for me, the ways they measured success, and the ways they benefited from my overperformance.
Letting that go felt like a funeral. A laying to rest of the boxes I no longer fit into.
But funerals make space for resurrection.
I began to mother differently, with more presence and patience. I began to write more freely, words spilling out in ways I hadn’t felt in years. I began to trust that I wasn’t falling behind—I was being rebuilt.
God sat me down and rerouted my focus. From performance to purpose. From doing more to becoming more. From chasing recognition to choosing alignment.
The Ah-Ha Moment
Here’s what I didn’t expect: writing here became my therapy.
I thought Substack would simply be a place to share reflections, maybe encourage someone else. And it has. The notes, the comments, the quiet DMs from readers telling me these words carried them through their own season; I treasure them deeply.
But the real ah-ha moment was realizing this practice of showing up, soft, reflective, sometimes ranting, sometimes raw, wasn’t just for others. It was healing me. This rhythm of writing has become my compass. My altar of words pointing me back to God’s path.
I began this space thinking I needed to prove something. Instead, it proved something to me: that the in-between season wasn’t wasted. It was God’s way of resetting me, guiding me, whispering, “See? You already carry what you’ve been searching for.”
Soft Systems Reframe
The in-between is not idle time. It’s intentional time.
Through the lens of Soft Systems, we see that structure doesn’t only come from hustle. Sometimes, it comes from surrender. Pauses are not prisons; they are recalibrations.
If you find yourself in the in-between, instead of asking “When will I finally arrive?” try asking:
What is being built in me right now?
What am I willing to bury so I can rise aligned?
What practices quietly heal me without me even noticing?
Because sometimes, the very thing you thought you were creating for others becomes the very thing God uses to heal you.
Reflection for You
Have you mistaken your in-between season for waiting, when it was really building? Where has your healing been hiding in plain sight?
So here’s where I am today: the in-between is not punishment, it’s preparation. It is not a waiting room; it’s an incubator. And writing here with you each week has been proof of that. What started as words on a page for others became my therapy, my compass, my way back to God’s path. The beauty of it all is that while I thought I was building for you, I was also being rebuilt myself. And that is the miracle of the in-between.
💬 Have you ever discovered that something you were doing for others became your own healing? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.
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In softness & strategy,
Kay Leshea
-Soft Era Coaching