Burnout, Boundaries, and Bittersweet Reminders

Sep 12, 2025

The rant I can’t escape is this: how the hell are women supposed to execute all these responsibilities without burning out?

We’ve normalized over-functioning. We pile on motherhood, career pivots, grieving loved ones, nurturing friendships, showing up for everyone else, and then we call it resilience.

But the question is; at what cost?

From an organizational psychology lens, what we’re doing is unsustainable. Systems that constantly demand more without recalibrating capacity will always collapse. That’s true for Fortune 500 companies, and it’s true inside the four walls of our homes.

And here’s the kicker: collapse doesn’t always look like failure. Sometimes it looks like illness. Sometimes it looks like resentment. Sometimes it looks like losing touch with the very people and passions that make life worth living.

The Consequence Question

I’ve been wrestling with this: what happens when we stop saving people from their own consequences?

As a natural fixer, I want to step in. I want to help. I want to prevent the sting. But the consequences are teachers. Every time I shield someone from them, I rob them of the lesson.

This week, as I grieve not one but two loved ones while also holding space for a friend in her grief, I’ve been reminded of one truth: life and death wait for no one. The only thing we can control is how intentionally we live in between.

A Soft System Reframe

So how do we shift from surviving to thriving when life keeps life-ing?

Here’s the framework I’ve been leaning into lately. It works at the office, in relationships, and yes; in the chaos of everyday parenting.

✨ The Capacity Check-In Framework ✨

Pause: Before saying yes, ask: Do I actually have the capacity, or am I running on fumes?
Prioritize: What aligns with my values right now, not in theory, not in guilt, but in reality?
Pass Back: Let people hold their own consequences. Their lesson isn’t your assignment.
Protect: Anchor daily in one non-negotiable well-being ritual (sleep, movement, journaling, prayer, a walk with your favorite playlist).

But please don’t confuse this for resting in a constant state of comfort. Honor the discomfort and press forward, because the most profound change often occurs in the bile of tension.

The I/O Psychology Insight

Lately, I’ve been thinking about decision fatigue, or what I call decision paralysis.

In psychology, decision fatigue describes the way our mental energy gets drained with every choice we make. By the end of the day, even simple questions like “What’s for dinner?” can feel impossible. Multiply that by motherhood, career pivots, or caregiving responsibilities, and you see why burnout isn’t just about too much work, it’s about too many micro-decisions.

That’s why the Capacity Check-In matters. It’s not just a self-care trick; it’s a tool to fight decision paralysis. By pausing, prioritizing, passing back, and protecting, you’re conserving your mental bandwidth for what truly matters instead of bleeding energy into what doesn’t.

And here’s my real-life proof: jumping back into a 5 a.m. workout routine was refreshing because it reminded me how much I get done when I start my day by loving on myself. But it also highlighted the other side of the coin; the meal prep I didn’t get to over the weekend. Which means by 7 pm, I’m standing in the kitchen negotiating with the fridge like it’s a hostage situation.

That’s decision fatigue in real time.

A Nugget to Try

🧩 The 3-Decision Rule: Limit yourself to three major decisions a day. Everything else either gets automated (meal prep, routines, reminders), delegated (let kids/partners/team members choose), or delayed (tomorrow’s brain will handle it).

This one small shift can release the pressure valve on decision paralysis and give you back precious energy.

The Bittersweet Balance

This week has been heavy, but it’s also been a reminder to love on the people who are here now. To extend gratitude alongside grief. To trade survival mode for something softer.

Because thriving isn’t about controlling life, it’s about staying awake to it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

🎶 Musical Vibe

If you need a soundtrack for this reframe, I’ve been keeping “Golden” by Jill Scott on repeat. It’s like a soft reminder that thriving doesn’t have to wait.

😂 Because let’s be real, sometimes the most strategic thing you can do is say nope, not today and flop dramatically on the couch:

If you’re walking through grief, overwhelm, or just the grind of responsibility, I hope this reminds you: burnout isn’t a badge of honor.

Try the Capacity Check-In and the 3-Decision Rule this week. Write them on a sticky note. Drop them in your Notes app. Use them as your shield against decision paralysis.

And because September is Suicide Prevention Month, I’ll be continuing this conversation next week, especially around how these pressures show up for our children and what it means to listen when someone is struggling with their mental health truly.

Here are some gentle ways to keep this space thriving:

🫖 Buy me a tea to pour into future templates, tools & playlists

💬 Comment, like, or reply; your voice keeps this space alive

Balancing, Belonging, Becoming

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